The power to question is the basis of all human progress.”
– Indira Gandhi.
As I sit down to reflect on our trip to Cabo with our dear friends Chris and Marie, I can’t help but smile at the memories we created together. From the sun-kissed beaches to the delightful evenings spent sharing a drink during the dodger/yankee’s game, every moment was a treasure. Yet, beyond the beautiful scenery and the joy of companionship, it was Chris’s unwavering assertiveness that left a lasting impression on me—a lesson that I believe can benefit us all.
Throughout our trip, I noticed a recurring theme: Chris’s ability to ask for what he wanted with remarkable clarity and confidence. Whether it was inquiring about a specific drink that wasn’t on the menu or requesting the name of something specific he wanted, like a table with a view that seemed off-limits, Chris approached each situation without hesitation. It was as if he understood a simple truth that so many of us often overlook: if you want something, you must ask for it.
This directness was not merely a personality trait; it was a profound lesson wrapped in simplicity. The act of asking for what you want can be transformative, and I realized that this approach has the power to enhance our lives in ways we may not yet fully appreciate.
Here are five practical suggestions for harnessing this profound truth in your own life:
1. Be Clear About Your Desires:
The first step in asking for what you want is to articulate your desires clearly. Take a moment to reflect on what you want in various aspects of your life—be it in your career, relationships, or personal interests. Once you have clarity, you can express those desires to others. Whether it’s negotiating a raise at work or simply asking a friend to spend more time with you, clarity is key.
2. Cultivate Confidence:
Confidence is the backbone of assertiveness. If you struggle with self-doubt or fear of rejection, practice positive self-talk and visualize successful outcomes. Start small by asking for little things in your daily life, such as a favor from a colleague or a specific item at a restaurant. Each successful encounter will build your confidence, empowering you to tackle bigger requests.
3. Embrace Rejection as a Learning Opportunity:
One of the reasons many people shy away from asking for what they want is the fear of rejection. However, it’s essential to reframe your perspective on rejection. Rather than viewing it as a personal failure, see it as a chance to learn and grow. Each “no” brings you closer to a “yes,” and understanding that rejection is a natural part of life can free you to ask without fear.
4. Practice Active Listening:
Effective communication goes hand-in-hand with assertiveness. When you ask for something, be open to listening to the responses of others. This not only shows respect for their perspective but can also lead to unexpected outcomes. For instance, while Chris was inquiring about a special cocktail, the bartender shared a delightful twist on the drink that he hadn’t considered. By engaging in active listening, you may discover new opportunities and solutions.
5. Be Grateful and Acknowledge the Efforts of Others:
When your requests are met with enthusiasm or even fulfilled, express your gratitude. A simple “thank you” goes a long way in building positive relationships and encouraging others to be receptive to your future requests. Acknowledging the efforts of those who assist you creates a positive feedback loop, making them feel valued and more willing to help again.
In our fast-paced world, we often hesitate to voice our desires, fearing judgment or rejection. Chris’s straightforward approach served as a powerful reminder that asking for what you want is not only your right but also an invitation for others to engage in meaningful ways. It fosters connection, understanding, and collaboration.
As I reminisce about our Cabo trip, I am grateful for the lessons learned and the memories made. Chris’s ability to ask boldly has inspired me to embrace directness in my own life. So, let’s step away from hesitation and embrace the art of asking. After all, life is too short to settle for anything less than what we truly desire. As I return to my daily routine, I carry this newfound understanding with me, ready to ask for what I want, and I encourage you to do the same. You may be surprised at the doors that open when you simply ask.
By the way, the Dodgers won.
