“Our reactions are often more instinctual than intentional, especially when a situation or a person is doing their best to bring out our worst.”
Ryder Carroll

We have all been there, I know I have. There are just times and for that matter people, who just push our buttons. Have you ever walked away from a conversation and thought, “Why did I say that?”

Or maybe you’ve hit “send” on a text or email, only to regret it seconds later. That’s the difference between reacting and responding—and it’s a game-changer in how we show up in life.

Reacting is Instinctual. Responding is Intentional.

Reactions happen in the heat of the moment. They’re fast, emotional, and often defensive. They come from a place of habit or hurt.

Responses, on the other hand, come from a place of clarity. They’re rooted in thought, awareness, and choice.

When someone pushes your buttons, the easy thing to do is to snap back. The powerful thing to do is to pause. The Pause, is so powerful, but in the heat of the moment very challenging to remember to do. It is probably something we should use a whole lot more.

Why This Matters—Especially Today

Whether it’s a snide comment at work, a political post online, or a stressful moment at home, we’re constantly invited to react. But every time we choose to respond instead, we’re not just managing a moment—we’re building emotional resilience, improving relationships, and living with intention.

5 Ways to Respond Instead of React

1. Pause Before You Speak
Take one breath. That pause gives your brain a moment to shift from impulse to choice.

2. Name What You’re Feeling
Say to yourself, “I feel frustrated,” or “I feel hurt.” Naming the emotion reduces its intensity.

3. Ask Yourself: What Outcome Do I Want?
If your goal is to be heard or understood, reacting in anger won’t get you there. Choose actions that align with your bigger purpose.

4. Remove Yourself if Needed
There’s power in walking away to gain perspective. It’s not weakness—it’s wisdom.

5. Practice Responding When the Stakes Are Low
Everyday moments are training grounds. Practice kindness in traffic, patience at the store, or understanding with loved ones.

The Bottom Line:
Reacting is easy. Responding is an act of strength. And every time you choose to respond, you take back control of your life’s direction.